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As I start my final semester of college tomorrow, I realize that I have come to the end of my seemingly never-ending "five-year plan."
By that, I mean that I've always been incredibly goal-oriented and had future plans for myself. Since I was in elementary school I had some idea of where I wanted to go next. My career goals changed all the time, and I planned to be married at 21 or 23 (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I was so naive). Then my big-time life goal was to own a horse. And travel the world, obviously.
Sometime in middle school it dawned on me that I wanted to go to BYU. This was pretty random seeing as none of my close family members went there. But that seemed good to me, so I worked my tail off through high school to make it happen.
While at school, there were a lot of curveballs that Heavenly Father threw at me (like, I should go on a mission even though I really didn't want to at first), having to search for a new major, and accepting that perhaps an internship in NYC wasn't the best idea for me this year. But I discovered the fantastic advertising program (a perfect fit), survived a full-time mission, and now work at the local company that I did my internship with.
But the point is this: throughout my whole life, I never looked past college, aside from fantasizing about some far-off dream job (whatever that was). When I started attending BYU, I was already dreading the end of it. Because then what? I would get some soul-sucking corporate job, get old, and work until I die. Woohoo. In my mid-twenties, I would have even more pressure to marry, then tons of pressure to have children, etc etc. It would be never-ending responsibilities and drudgery and monotony. The "golden years" of college would be long gone. And I wouldn't be getting any younger.
But I also realize that I'm only 22. My life isn't over yet, but rather it's just starting. Thing is, I have no clue where I'll be next year. I am very grateful for the job that I do have right now, but I also know that I need to move out of Utah by next spring to something new.
I have spent a lot of time this summer figuring out who I am and who I want to be. I am continuously working on myself so I can be complete on my own, and be the best person I can be. I still have a long ways to go, but that's okay. Recently I felt that whoever I'm looking for (*cough* a spouse *cough cough*), isn't here in Provo. Being the kind of person that's okay with independence and some solitude, I actually didn't care. But I think we can all agree that graduating BYU single leaves the doors open even wider after graduation, and it's a little overwhelming. I can literally go wherever I want and do whatever I want. So now what?
Based off of past experiences in my life, I can trust that Heavenly Father will lead me to where I need to go if I keep working hard and do my part. One of the lessons today at church was focused on being a child of God, and it reaffirmed to me that He DOES want me to be happy and successful. He will never leave me on my own.
I have no set plans, but I have some vague ideas. All I can say is that my next step is to start working with my professors and other people in getting job contacts across the country- whether that be at an advertising agency, digital marketing agency, or working in media for a totally unrelated company. I'm pretty open to all of those. And just because I won't be a student anymore, I am committed to never stopping with my learning.
Again, I'm only 22- I have a lot of life ahead of me, and I'm looking forward to it. While I don't have a "five-year plan" and can't tell you where I'll be in just 8 months (or even 4-5 months), I still have a lot of aspirations. While I'm in my twenties, I want to make it to Europe. Someday in the far future when I can afford to buy a home, I want to use some of my yard space for rescued chickens. I want to keep devoting time to helping other people and animals when I can. I want to make the most of my time and involve others in it.
Bottom line is- emerging adulthood is tricky. We make some of the biggest decisions of our lives, and it can end up good or bad. But I know if we do our part and trust in God, we'll be headed in the right direction. And while you may feel like a "second-class citizen" in the Church as a single adult, who cares (even though everyone constantly asks you if you're seeing anyone). Because I have to say, I know so many single adults who are killing it out there and doing great. We all have something to contribute, and a big part of your twenties is figuring out just what that is.